Went to a meeting of young Christians at Prairie Ridge Church last night. We ate Subway, chit-chatted, and watched Nooma video #11: "Rhythm". The conversation was stimulating, I met some awesome brothers and sisters (Ben, Eric, Missy, Valerie, Sam), and Ben is a fellow fan of mewithoutYou (whoo!). But there is a problem: It seems too easy.
It is too easy for me to meet and like people. It's easy to have really stimulating conversations, Christ-centered conversations. But I question whether people are seeing the real me, or I'm seeing the real them. They haven't heard me get made and drop an F-Bomb; they don't know the bad things I've said and done. I'm not really eager to go publishing it either.
We enter into the room knowing we are under grace, understanding we have all failed; the purpose isn't to judge or critique but to enjoy being with each other and experience fellowship.
I'm not sure that fellowship really happens there. I can't put my finger on why. Maybe I'm being impatient. I've seen fellowship; it can happen on difficult camping trips or tough circumstances shared with comrades. In my case it has usually been shared with friends as friends, Christian friends; I would like to have it shared with Christians as brothers and sisters. People who say, "We aren't just here because we are lonely and single and need to have a safe environment [though that isn't a bad thing to admit] - we are brothers and sisters attempting to live the gospel."
This post seems entirely too judgmental on my friends, or perhaps ungrateful. I do struggle with ungratefulness and judgmentalism, but if there is a useful question hidden in this post maybe you can overlook any bothersome tones.
NEWS: I'm going to Arkansas next week with my Uncle Jim to help disassemble machines. It's for work, but maybe I'll have some fun times too. Leaving Sunday after the weekly congregational service. Everyone say a prayer of thank you for my friend and shepherd Josh from Real Life Church who has deeply encouraged me.
Christian Fellowship
13 July 2007 | Posted by Pilgrim at 8:53 PM
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4 comments:
Hey Josh...missed a good sermon yesterday :) I was challenged by "Love believes all things..." You know, it made me realize, I don't have to know you drop F-bombs to love you or not love you...to have good fellowship, I think our focus needs to be Jesus and how we can love like Him...and believe the BEST things about eachother. My mother in law taught me something really amazing: BELIEVE THE BEST EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW THE WORST. I love you!
hey josh...eric was just in my room...and we talked about you
Just this morning I was talking to Carl about the two of us getting some accountabilty at the church we are in and my words to him were, "I don't want people to judge me, I just want them to love me.."
I don't want them to judge my fowl language on occassion or my lack of self control at times in my relationship...I don't want those to be the things that people think of when they see me...and so i'm tempted to hide...and conform and put a plastic smile on my face...when everything is not okay.
I'm in a new situation now too...one where i am left re-learning to open myself up to a group of people that i don't know and that don't know me...
i guess i've come to one conclusion... I will do my best to accept people in Love in the name of Jesus no matter what they may say, or do...and i will leave in God's hands matters of the heart in a persons life...As Colin used to say..."Who are we to judge another man's servant"
I'm learning to trust all over again, and if i am not accepted in the community of fellowship that i belong to at least i know that i'm accepted by a higher authority than those around me...and there's a lot to be said of that.
Hey! I got the link through Beth's blog. I'm glad to see that your searching... we all are and I don't think we'll ever have all the answers. As the military moves me around, I'm constantly finding new circles of Christians and it's hard for me too to not be judgmental and wonder if they're sincere. However, suppose I did know that each of their smiles were a facade? Then what? I've come to realize that if we are truly to be like Christ, then it shouldn't matter if another person has a black past, swears when angry... NONE of us are perfect and only God is allowed to judge our hearts. We answer to Him in the end. The Bible says that "all have sinned and fallen short..." Thus you know that I'm not a perfect person either! A murderer and a liar are seen the same to God - falling short, unless we accept God's free gift.
Also, you said that something was missing from the group that'd you'd found elsewhere. I couldn't help but notice that your Bible Study was a bunch of Christians in a low stress environment. It's amazing what working on a hard project as a team, or being in a stressful place, such as a warzone, can do to increase closeness. If you must know whether people are really genuine or not, challenge your group to do something out of their comfort zone that will make a difference for God's kingdom.
Don't let Satan rob you of enjoying new brother's and sister's in Christ - refuse to be judgmental and chose to love unconditionally!
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