Restless

Now is the winter of our discontent... (period.)

As far as work and life in general go, I feel stagnant. I'm getting restless. I don't think it's just winter; it's a lack of any immediate significance in my existence. I bought a looper pedal for my guitar, and since buying it it's moved me forward musically. But I want to return it, if only because guitar and music seem either pointless or distracting, and really if I'm not playing with a band it's pretty pointless. I'd rather just keep things simple. (Will write a second post on that directly following this one.)

Anyway I hope I'm growing, maybe it's one of those times when I'm just a seed getting water. Jesus is going to come back and be like "Ummm what the heck are you doing anyway" and I'm going to say "Look I'm like, a plant, ya know? I'm a late bloomer so maybe you could give me a few years so I can be watered and grow my roots and stuff." *Jesus gives incredulous stare* Seriously, there are things I'm still dealing with; and I want to shove it all away because it's difficult. I don't have a choice though.

I was just listening to the Derek Webb song "The Church." It is really beautiful and deep and loving and I think I'd better learn it.

It's been a bad month money wise. And discipline wise.