A tornado...

...has recently passed through room. unable to decipher if there is still a floor beneath the rubble.

ps. this is an attempt at humor. those who are literal minded may experience confusion if they notice my house is structurally intact and has no sign of wind damage.

another week

has come and gone. notables this week: going through a haunted house; watching "ju-on" a very creepy japanese movie (clean but it really gets under your skin); getting my car cleaned out tonight; consolidating my clothing into bags now lying in the middle of the floor of my room (i have nowhere else to put them, literally); i also had a conversation with a catholic priest on the phone, which was interesting. that's all i can remember from the week.

i haven't been able to find my treasured book xenophon's "aeconomicus", but even if i did i probably would read it for 30 seconds and then grow bored. bipolar crap seems to be cycling every two weeks - about every two weeks i get into a fairly extreme down.

great cheese my room is so bloody crowded. i only have a sofa, a little table, 2'x2', and a dresser. and 3 milk crates. but its a place. i hate it when i dont have enough space to keep clean, cuz it reflects poorly on me and i lack the creativity and funds to do anything to make this place nice. the room always feels like its teetering on the verge of chaos, i keep it together but just barely.

okay bedtime for me, then i get up and go to work and go to small group and go to bed and go to work and do groceries and laundry and go to bed and go to work and go to youth group and go to bed and go to work and then its thursday, which is not so bad.

God, why telemarketing?

God's Answer

"1. Don't ask me, you're the one who applied."

"2. It's good for you. Should help you develop a thick skin; that's been in short supply in your clan."

Oh.

Why pastors don't listen

They are too busy thinking up answers.

I find greater benefit talking to the average friend.

Medicare Dreams

All night every night, if I wake up, I wake up from dreams asking people questios about their medicare coverage. Or explaining the government's standardizations in 1992. If you were in my dreams, probably we were having a conversation about your retirement health plan. This may mean I'm going a bit loopy.

PS on green walls

I now like my ninja-turtle green walls. It's not as nice as the green room I grew up in but it does ring up a little bit of that happy green feeling. It took awhile to grow on me.

Horcruxes

A few months back I was playing world of warcraft. (Right now its good I don't have it, it would be a fun escape.) In the game, I had a hunter dwarf with a pet boar named "piggy." And then last night I had this dream that a wizard like gandalf and dumbledore was a sellout and thought maybe by joining the evil wizard (kind of a sauron-voldemort) he could get real political (since he thought himself too weak to actually beat him) and help save a few people. All the same it was a wimpy decision. And in this dream the evil volde-sauron dude could kick some serious butt, he was basically killing like fifty people at a time with a sweep of his hand. But gandalfuldore did one nice thing, he gave me this pill that would let me make a horcrux with anything I wanted, which is strange cuz its a bad idea to do horcruxes generally. But in the dream I had a pet boar which, just like in world of warcraft, first attacked me but I subdued and tamed it and it was very loyal. So I made a horcrux out of the boar and in the dream, as long as one of us was alive, the other could not die (so a little better than a horcrux really, more like "dragonheart"). We attacked sauron-mort but still got our butts kicked it was sad.

So it's sort of like my new telemarketing job. To keep my sanity I split my personality in two, and when I hear the beep part of me wakes up and enters into the happy-smile world of telemarketing, and then as soon as the call ends it withdraws and a different me resumes existence and draws pictures or taps out drum rhythms or just pretends I was taking a nap. 30-60 seconds later phonejosh wakes up and I go to sleep. By the end of the day I only have about five minutes of memory from the whole day, I might have spent five minutes on the phone except that I feel poopy from fluorescent lights.