Restless

Now is the winter of our discontent... (period.)

As far as work and life in general go, I feel stagnant. I'm getting restless. I don't think it's just winter; it's a lack of any immediate significance in my existence. I bought a looper pedal for my guitar, and since buying it it's moved me forward musically. But I want to return it, if only because guitar and music seem either pointless or distracting, and really if I'm not playing with a band it's pretty pointless. I'd rather just keep things simple. (Will write a second post on that directly following this one.)

Anyway I hope I'm growing, maybe it's one of those times when I'm just a seed getting water. Jesus is going to come back and be like "Ummm what the heck are you doing anyway" and I'm going to say "Look I'm like, a plant, ya know? I'm a late bloomer so maybe you could give me a few years so I can be watered and grow my roots and stuff." *Jesus gives incredulous stare* Seriously, there are things I'm still dealing with; and I want to shove it all away because it's difficult. I don't have a choice though.

I was just listening to the Derek Webb song "The Church." It is really beautiful and deep and loving and I think I'd better learn it.

It's been a bad month money wise. And discipline wise.

The News or Voyeurism America, and Gibsons pornographic movie about Christ's death

Glancing through the rash of continuing headlines on the Omaha shooting, a couple thoughts flit between my ears. First, the top headlines are ones that focus on descriptions of the violence or experience. Then we get to the inside story on the suicide note, a little info on the "why" of all this I guess. Second, the reason these are headlines are because people want to read them.

We are gossips and voyeurs, and are particularly thirsty for violence. I was even struck by that while watching "Pirates of the Caribbean (part 3)" last night. (As far as imagination goes, the movie had some great moments.) We have a thirst to gossip about, and see, violence. We are not a lot different from Romans at the Coliseum. The news is as much entertainment as anything else coming out of Hollywood. The greedy media moguls are happy to provide what we want: and what we want is to vicariously experience the violence and evil going on in the world.

It has a lot in common with pornography.

By the way, does anyone else out there think the success of "Passion of the Christ" has probably done little except feed our thirst for violence? "But it is about the cross!" you say?

It's in the Bible, why do you want to SEE a depiction of the Messiah being tortured? Is it going to increase your faith? DID it increase people's faith? Really? 370 million box office dollars later (#1 2004), do you see a church with greater faith? Do you see greater faith in the movie's makers? (Gibson's movie after Passion: Apocalypto. Read that link and tell me this man's aim is to make anyone more Christlike.) Maybe someone reading this will decide I am not crazy and that we should start applying our concepts of purity not only to sexual content, but also to depictions of violence and evil.

Some Iraqi Blogs

Here is a link to a BBC compilation of Iraqi blogs. Useful reading. And just for the record (the following descriptions are from the BBC website):

last-of-iraqis.blogspot.com
Mohammed is a 25 year-old dentist in Baghdad. In the first of two extracts, his experiences seem to support the latest figures suggesting a recent fall in the number of violent deaths in Iraq.

livesstrong.blogspot.com
Sunshine is a 15-year-old girl in Mosul, northern Iraq. Violence dominates every moment, even recent Eid celebrations.

astarfrommosul.blogspot.com
"Aunt Najma" is also in Mosul. She is a 19-year-old high-flying engineering student. Her latest posting is not typical of her normally chirpy style.

riverbendblog.blogspot.com
Riverbend is perhaps the best-known Iraqi blogger. She and her family left Iraq over the summer for Syria. In her latest blog, she describes coming to terms with her refugee status.

These blogs aren't "journalism" - just perspectives. A little perspective never hurt.

Why I'm okay with democracy

(^^^click on the title^^^) ... the alternatives are so much worse.

part 2 how work ties in

in four months or so i should be able to move to sales with the republic company. a month ago i questioned whether i could manage for that long. the good news is that i have discovered that i can. the best activity for passing time is playing with watercolor. i cant say i'm passionate about sales, but its an opportunity i will take. and i'll do my best.

because

the significantly better salary means i could perhaps get into a better living situation!

in the meantime this isn't too bad; if my roomie and i can find a bunkbed at goodwill or salvation army sometime soon, we'll have quite a bit more space to work with.

part 1 crossing lines

so this morning i was playing my favorite band, "mewithoutyou", on my stereo. Probably it was a little loud because i just installed new speakers; ie i'm not sure how loud it sounds from other parts of the house.

what would you didn't know what the music was but didn't like it and you could hear it?

the seminary student who is subletting to me (who in general is a good guy but in everything pertaining to the apartment has been an a-hole) laid out his musical requirements early on. no playing of metallica, led zeppelin, etc, in the house. ie anything he might construe as evil. course i bend over backwards cuz these guys are lunatics who put me on permanent probation in their minds. if they had any sort of disagreements with me, ie they didn't like the kind of music i play on my guitar, they would tell me to stop; if i didn't, they would have no problem kicking me out.

so this morning the previously mentioned individual walks in and tells me to cut that music. its "passionate" but especially heavy. it's not metal. the guy tells me he doesn't like it so i can't play it.

ah now we get at what the nuthead's christianity is really all about: people have to look and think like me. they are thinking, if i dont like a certain kind of music, it must not be good music. they wouldn't ever think that out loud, cuz it is so obviously stupid, but they think it. (btw their standards are usually generously hypocritical.)

i decided they had crossed a line, made a fuss about the band being one of the most god-glorifying bands that i knew of, the song ("torches together" about god making us into the body of christ, incredibly beautiful) being beautiful and rich, and finally told him that just because he didn't like music did not mean i was not going to play it. he didn't like it, but short of being threatened out of the house i wasn't going to budge. you have to put your foot down somewhere. that somewhere is mewithoutyou heh. he compromised to me having it vewy quiet. i probably can still turn my stereo up with rich mullins or classical without anyone complaining, which is a relief.

Great new dream

I had this great new dream about being at a Jimi Hendrix concert at Baptist Bible College. It was a really great dream. I think the thing about Hendrix isn't just that he was a great guitarist - we just all kinda like him. He doesn't seem like the kind of dude who would pick up my guitar and start critiquing the heck out of it, he would probably just play it and have fun. Whereas I would never want Eric Clapton to hold my guitar, cuz he would touch it and then say "ewww the action is wrong I dont like these cheap pickups can someone please get me a different guitar." I've only ever acted that way with those unplayable wal-mart electric guitars. Ewwwwww.

The tough thing is all that you hear with most guitarists is a bunch of overdubbing. Of course it sounds good when they overdub and add extra tracks. Just hearing a good guitarist sitting down playing his guitar, you dont hear that. Luckily I got this super rare download of Hendrix on acoustic, it's really fun. Maybe 10 songs on acoustic guitar, it's still hendrix for sure.

Apricot Face Remover

I tried "invigorating apricot scrub." For all skin types. Except mine I guess. "May irritate skin," they say. Can I have my face back, I reply.

In other news, the health industry is promoting a new program for permanent weight loss. The secret? Hungry sharks. Test subjects have called the results "immediate and startling." Critics warn, "may hamper mobility."

Hey, the shark diet and apricot scrubbers might get along!

Led Zeppelin catalogue, musical growth

today at share.com (which is actually http://u2n2.com/Default.asp?) I stumbled upon the entire Led Zeppelin catalogue. I have all their official albums as a band except for Coda, which isn't supposed to be that great anyway; I'm only missing the BBC sessions and "How the West was Won", the live album. I'm not that big of a Led Zeppelin fan, but I am a huge fan of really old-time blues like Robert Johnson and Blind Willie Johnson. Led Zep became the archetype of good rock and roll (for good reason), but they got all their inspiration from old blues recordings which I like to listen to as well. Same for White Stripes by the way. Anyway, a lot of the music is great stuff for what it is; so far a couple favorites are Moby Dick from Led Zep II (I own that record!), and the Battle of Evermore. I haven't got it into my head to learn any Led Zep songs on guitar, because it really isn't my style, but it's pretty good. I have a pretty extensive classic rock catalogue, I'd like to find more of the really good old stuff, which probably means i'll have to buy it over time.

Other than that I'm digging into a lot of fusion and jazz guitarists and bands, Allan Holdsworth especially.

Groceries

Shopped at HyVee for groceries tonight.

-$72.73 groceries
(8 tv dinners, 1 5 pc hot pocket, 12 snickerdoodle cookies ($4), ice cream sandwiches, 16
yogurts, 12 coke+12 cream soda $6, bananas + apples ($6), 4 cereal, 5 soup cans)

Regret the cookies. Hyvee doesn't know how to make snickerdoodles.

Working balance until November 26 / payday (ie what I have to spend after $677.77 in bills): -1.01. Anyone have four quarters and a penny? hahaha. Actually I'm not in the red because I'll wait to pay the big college loan until I get my paycheck. Overall, I'm feeling optimistic. Maybe this time next month, I'll have an extra dollar to wave around! No more wasting money on snickerdoodles.